Euro-Homer

Further proof that, for Fox, the Simpsons franchise is like printing money.

Literally.

George Dennis Patrick Carlin, 1937-2008

Bill Hicks, Come Home...All Is Forgiven

This is an ad for Halodrol Liquigels, some kind of workout supplement. But, really, with an ad like this, who gives a human-growth-hormone-produced shit what it's used for? Pretty clever, possibly controversial...

...DEFINITELY presaged by the late, great Bill Hicks...way back in 1990:

Your California Tax Dollars At Work, Part Two: TEXAS Edition

Sorry to be such a Negative Jones here; this would make it two bummer posts in a row. I'd say I'm in need of a sunnier outlook these days. I really dug Obama's speech (video, scroll down for the full transcript) the other day. Maybe I'll find some sunshine in writing about that at some point in the future.

But, for now, we must settle for this bozo.

The punchline isn't so much that the fucker actually pleaded "not guilty". What's absolutely blindmowing is that the Texas courts spent precious time and tax money TEN SEPARATE TIMES before they finally decided to put this tool away for 60 years. Nine times in front of a judge (and that's just under the DWI column; it's true, oh yes, kids, our boy also had to show cause for assault, forgery, and theft) and the judges still couldn't pull the fuckin' trigger on this guy. That ninth time must've been too close to call.

Alternate post title: "Nine Strikes And, Um, Yer Free To...Go, I Guess?"

Awful

Simply awful.

On a personal note, this news story does not make me feel particularly comfy. Bus stops have recently become a part of my everyday life.

Anyone know where I can get my hands on some kevlar?

The Pick

Giants, 31-29.
MVP? LB Antonio Pierce.

Yeah, it'll certainly help if the Giants can get to Tom Brady and help him get familiar with the pristine turf of University of Phoenix Stadium. But I agree with Mitch Albom: it'll be better if the Giants can keep Tom Brady off the field. Long drives, solid running game, tough defense, no turnovers.

Seems easy enough, right?

Enjoy the game, kiddies.

Unfuckingbelievable

I'm not going to blather on tonight. I'm far too dizzy to make any possible sense (and, yes, dizzier than usual, I agree.) Fuckin' amazing game. As I'm sure will be said many many many times in the coming days, across the TV box and the internet tubes, this was an Instant Classic. Here are some early thoughts from some sports blogs I particularly dig:

The Sports Frog gets the award for ShortnSweet, certainly echoing my sentiments regarding Tiki Barber.

Can't Stop The Bleeding had this to say about the NFC and AFC Championship games (the AFC take is particularly sharp), both written by Gerard Cosloy, co-head of Matador Records.

Predictions later (perhaps, and more thoughts as well), but I'll say this: I think the spread is gonna open at Pats by 9. 18-0 aside, I'd be very surprised if the oddsmakers give the Pats a double-digit spread. They made that mistake giving the Rams -14 back in 2002 (final score: 20-17, Patriots). Whether the Giants win or lose, it's gonna be a close game. They only lost by 3, back on December 29th, and they hung 35 points on that defense.

Fuck. I haven't cared this much about football in general or specifically for years.

(UPDATE 01/21/08: Bodoglife.com has the line today at Pats -12. The AP is reporting that Vegas sports books are going as high as -13 or -14. Sigh...oh well.)

The Patriots are going to Sit on the Colts.

The Brady-Manning Man-Moment You've Been Clamoring For.

I'm not necessarily a Pats fan; I'm not a hater, either. (Same way I feel about the Yanks/Red Sox - indifferent, still fun to watch.) Surprised just how many are autopicking the Colts, due respect, but I don't see Indy bringing anything that New England has not seen this season. Pats are gonna sit on the Colts, just like they've sat on top of everyone else.

Could be wrong.
I could be right.

mahalo.
j.r.e.

Don't (Stop) Believe(-in') The Hype

Don't listen to the haters. (Or, hell, go and judge for yourself.) The Sopranos finale was brilliant. From Start to Finish. Yes, the ending, too. Especially the ending. Tony got shot and was killed. Instantly. Right in front of his family. End of Story, kids. No way Tony somehow survives that scene and lives to see another day. As to the question of, "why not just show it?", well, what is it that you were hoping to see? If Carmela, Meadow and AJ got shot, too? I doubt it. Phil Leotardo got taken out in front of his daughter and his grandkids and nothing happened to them; you know the Mafia doesn't touch family when performing a hit. Or did you want to see the three of them crying over Tony's body? You've seen that already, at the very beginning of the season when Uncle Junior shot Tony. Oh, and this: "But he looked up and saw Meadow come in." Really? Did he? How do you know? He looked up and saw something, I'm guessing the barrel of a gun. As the recently-late Bobby Bacallieri foreshadowed at the end of last week's episode (itself, a flashback to when he said it in the first episode of this mini-season), "you probably don't even hear it when it happens, right?" Instant death. CUT to black.

Anyway, Tim Goodman, of the San Francisco Chronicle, sums it up and doesn't miss a thing. Good read.

"I See You Rolled Your Way Into The Semis...Dios Mio, Man"

No disrespect to the East (go Rangers!), but the two Western Conference Semis are going to be some serious fun to watch. Detroit v. San Jose. Anaheim v. Vancouver. These were the best four teams from the West this season, hands down, no question, g'night kid. Congrats to the 'nucks. Luongo v. Giguere - all right.

Being the product of two coasts, I'm pulling for a Ducks/Rangers Cup Final. Wha'boutchu? Predict away, knuckleheads.